Long Lost Son is Gay

I never cease to be amazed at the predicaments that people get themselves into. That includes myself. The quest to get laid or high or the big score lead people into some monumental drama. This man finds his wick dipping venture comes back and bites him in the ass after 23 years.

23 years ago I had unprotected sex with a woman I knew. This was not unusual then, but is unheard of now. She got pregnant and refused to get an abortion, although she was single with another child, who I did not know about until later. So I tried to do the right thing and pay support, which I did for 9 months prior to the baby being born, and in the last 2 weeks of pregnancy she vanished. Up until that point we had nothing on paper or in court because everything was very civilized. She was a little off kilter from the time I first met her but we had fun. 

I tried to track her down and could not find her for a year. Then when I tried to have a paternity test taken she vanished again and her sister told me it was not my child, it was the child of her other son's father, who I found out about then. So I gave up the chase and didn't pursue it any further, altogether it cost about $80,000. She was very crafty and devious. 

Now 20 years later he shows up, says he is gay and wants me to walk him up the aisle in his wedding. This happened on wednesday and I'm still in shock. The woman died last year and told him I was his father in her dying confessional. He has been looking for me on and off since then, although I have not gone anywhere for the last 25 years. I guess the mother was holding back info from him. She was bipolar he said, had dementia and died of some early onslaught alzheimer's, so he has been through hell and high water in his life. 

So I guess I'm going to be in a wedding in a month.

What is to be done? The first thing is to separate reality from story telling. Then if he owns this situation, it is time to man up and make some beneficial moves. As I explained it to him:

Run, don't walk, to get your DNA test. You CAN NOT base your life on the mutterings of a psycho woman. Myself included. If he turns out to be your son, give him the talk about how he is still too young to be getting married, but that you would be glad to walk him down the aisle in about 4 years if he has his education and career goals in good order.

Then start getting some guidance from the lad about your grooming, wardrobe and decorating your living space. There should be something in this for you, after all!