A back stabber indeed!

Dan writes in with some confusion about what a "friend" is. Especially when a man has a woman friend, he often does not know the true nature of what he has. Many men are blinded by the unlikely possibility that they will flip the friendship into having sex with the woman. That is delusional thinking. Let's see what Dan has to lament about.

 My longtime (I mean 10 years) friend Sophia broke up with her boyfriend 3years back. I'm Dan, and havehelped Sophia out finacially covering bills at times,- talking to her, giving her advice repeatingly. Sophia would get very sarcastic with me making fun of the way I talk (I do ahve a slight stutter) calling me a fuck-up in my field, being critical of everything I do, and saying "I'm calling you retard becasue you fuck everything up" I threatened to end the friendship, and she became SOMEWHAT normal again. (Sophia said my threat was mean because "Dan, you obvioulsy don't understand I am going thru a hard time. Once I get a new boyfriend, I'll be normal and nice, like before." Well, now Sophia steadily dates a guitar teacher and she is so nice to me- pretty much talks to me in a tone reserved for talking to kittens! praises what i do, my opinions, is really sweet. Should I say, "She went through a bad time give her slack." or take her nice behavior since she's found Mr. Right as an insult? Would like your opinion.

What kind of desperate lonely guy would put up with such abuse? It is pathetic, and pitiable to see Dan get to be Sophia's verbal punching bag, so I pulled a clue out of my toolbox and handed it to the poor guy.

Dan, I do not want to state the obvious, but Sophia is not your friend. She does not even like you. She tolerates you because you help her pay the bills, and you give her some much needed attention. She is pretty easy going when she is getting her sexual needs met, (aren't we all!) but when she is horny and frustrated she takes it out on you, and not in a good way since she does not consider you sexually attractive. Let me ask you, if one of your guy friends was not getting laid and treated you the way she does when she is not getting stuffed with pork, would you still consider yourself to be friends with him? Think about that. Then go meet yourself some real friends that treat you with respect.

Sexual Satisfaction Done Right

A man wonders:

Hypothetical question: If you are a heterosexual female with a long term male sexual partner and for some reason he was no longer able to ever get a sustainable erection capable of normal vaginal penetration would you be completely satisfied with him providing oral sex to climax to you anytime you wanted and stimulating your G-spot with his fingers or your choice of dildos? Do you need to feel an ejaculating penis inside you to be completely satisfied sexually?

This is very easy to answer.

An ejaculating penis inside me is nice, but not essential for my sexual satisfaction. I have toys for that. But you better have a wallet that ejaculates money or your ATM card!!

Players Getting Played Back

A clue is a valuable thing. Some people have them, and some don't. When you go to the club and you are not with someone you intend to go home with, you are playing. Your game might be teasing some poor schlubb and extracting all the drinks and attention his desperation can bear, or maybe you want to get laid. Whatever it is you want, you are in play. Everyone else there is in play too. You are deluding yourself to think you are going to meet the true love you have been looking for at the club. You will most likely meet other players, just like yourself.

So back on the friendly neighborhood craigslist, a clueless player laments.

This guy is a complete asshole. I met him a couple months ago at a club downtown. I don't even know why I was attracted to him, but somehow I ended up at his place getting fucked in the ass, and then the dickhead didn't even call me for two weeks! Then we started seeing each other a bit, I thought it was going great. Should have known better because I just found out he had a threesome with two of my friends! When I confronted him about it he wasn't even apologetic; he just laughed and said I could be in the next threesome. WTF!? 

His name is John, but everyone calls him Fox which only adds to his self-absorption. He thinks he has the right to be self-absorbed because he is a musician and runs his own company (which isn't even all that big), he doesn't care about anyone but himself, he lies and uses people, and somehow he's able to trick people into thinking he's cool, at least until they get to know him. I hate this guy SOO much for the way he played me, and I know he's done it to other girls too. These photos are him with some of the sluts he's hooked up with (or girls he's played, who knows which). I want to see him pay...His number is eight five eight seven o seven five four nine six, let's force him to change it, ladies! 

I did this tart a favor and advanced her a needed clue about the true nature of what she was doing.

Uhhhh....sweetheart! Yoo hoo, is anybody home there. You met him at a club and "somehow" ended up at his place "getting fucked in the ass". NEWS FLASH! You were playing too! Take it from a player who has been played back, we all play to some degree. It is when we get all delusional about what we are really doing that we get burned. Did you really think that some guy you just met and got to plow your back forty was the love of your life? Let me gift wrap you a clue here. He wasn't. You are just seething because he found several better playgrounds than the romper room you have to offer. Too bad. Get over yourself. 

Love, Ginny