A back stabber indeed!

Dan writes in with some confusion about what a "friend" is. Especially when a man has a woman friend, he often does not know the true nature of what he has. Many men are blinded by the unlikely possibility that they will flip the friendship into having sex with the woman. That is delusional thinking. Let's see what Dan has to lament about.

 My longtime (I mean 10 years) friend Sophia broke up with her boyfriend 3years back. I'm Dan, and havehelped Sophia out finacially covering bills at times,- talking to her, giving her advice repeatingly. Sophia would get very sarcastic with me making fun of the way I talk (I do ahve a slight stutter) calling me a fuck-up in my field, being critical of everything I do, and saying "I'm calling you retard becasue you fuck everything up" I threatened to end the friendship, and she became SOMEWHAT normal again. (Sophia said my threat was mean because "Dan, you obvioulsy don't understand I am going thru a hard time. Once I get a new boyfriend, I'll be normal and nice, like before." Well, now Sophia steadily dates a guitar teacher and she is so nice to me- pretty much talks to me in a tone reserved for talking to kittens! praises what i do, my opinions, is really sweet. Should I say, "She went through a bad time give her slack." or take her nice behavior since she's found Mr. Right as an insult? Would like your opinion.

What kind of desperate lonely guy would put up with such abuse? It is pathetic, and pitiable to see Dan get to be Sophia's verbal punching bag, so I pulled a clue out of my toolbox and handed it to the poor guy.

Dan, I do not want to state the obvious, but Sophia is not your friend. She does not even like you. She tolerates you because you help her pay the bills, and you give her some much needed attention. She is pretty easy going when she is getting her sexual needs met, (aren't we all!) but when she is horny and frustrated she takes it out on you, and not in a good way since she does not consider you sexually attractive. Let me ask you, if one of your guy friends was not getting laid and treated you the way she does when she is not getting stuffed with pork, would you still consider yourself to be friends with him? Think about that. Then go meet yourself some real friends that treat you with respect.