My BF is cheating

It seems every new generation has to learn the hard way what the previous generation learned. They do not listen to their elders and so they repeat the same mistakes, often to find they have made dreadful errors of judgement. This girl would have done well to ask her elders about the pitfalls of moving in with a boyfriend and working for his parents, especially when things go very wrong with the relationship. Here she laments:

So I found my boyfriends account for a hookup site loged in and a list of conversations about talking dirty with guys what hes into sexually what hes looking for. Really graphic I was surprised how he talked it hurt my eyes and my heart. I confronted him about it. He said he only logs on and does that when hes mad at me... So with further investigating I find out hes actually been there for years, first tells me only looked at photos then showed him his account with all the msg's and still says he only talks to them. What to do? Keep in mind I live in his place we and his parents employ me... Boy when I look at it in writing it sure looks like im about to have a fun ride. 

Advice please! 

I told her straight up what to do, though for her this is easy to say and very difficult to implement.

You really have got yourself into a pickle, girlie. Whatever you found is the tip of the iceberg. If he does his thing while being mad at you, you have to wonder what he considers being mad at you, like you left the soap dish in the wrong place so he has to engage in "only talking" with some online strange. Of course, you know you are not that gullible. You are merely one of his options, and that is all you are. This can not be fixed. 

Then there is the complication you created by living with him and earning your living from his folks. Very bad life plan there. There is a reason for the old saying about not fishing off the company pier. As much as there are some hotties in the work place, it is not worth the trouble you set yourself up for. The usual scene is that you get involved with someone and can not make a clean break as you work with them. You have the worst scene since your livelihood is at stake. Sorry about that, sis. Make your plans to get away from this mess, and don't delay. 

 

Long Lost Son is Gay

I never cease to be amazed at the predicaments that people get themselves into. That includes myself. The quest to get laid or high or the big score lead people into some monumental drama. This man finds his wick dipping venture comes back and bites him in the ass after 23 years.

23 years ago I had unprotected sex with a woman I knew. This was not unusual then, but is unheard of now. She got pregnant and refused to get an abortion, although she was single with another child, who I did not know about until later. So I tried to do the right thing and pay support, which I did for 9 months prior to the baby being born, and in the last 2 weeks of pregnancy she vanished. Up until that point we had nothing on paper or in court because everything was very civilized. She was a little off kilter from the time I first met her but we had fun. 

I tried to track her down and could not find her for a year. Then when I tried to have a paternity test taken she vanished again and her sister told me it was not my child, it was the child of her other son's father, who I found out about then. So I gave up the chase and didn't pursue it any further, altogether it cost about $80,000. She was very crafty and devious. 

Now 20 years later he shows up, says he is gay and wants me to walk him up the aisle in his wedding. This happened on wednesday and I'm still in shock. The woman died last year and told him I was his father in her dying confessional. He has been looking for me on and off since then, although I have not gone anywhere for the last 25 years. I guess the mother was holding back info from him. She was bipolar he said, had dementia and died of some early onslaught alzheimer's, so he has been through hell and high water in his life. 

So I guess I'm going to be in a wedding in a month.

What is to be done? The first thing is to separate reality from story telling. Then if he owns this situation, it is time to man up and make some beneficial moves. As I explained it to him:

Run, don't walk, to get your DNA test. You CAN NOT base your life on the mutterings of a psycho woman. Myself included. If he turns out to be your son, give him the talk about how he is still too young to be getting married, but that you would be glad to walk him down the aisle in about 4 years if he has his education and career goals in good order.

Then start getting some guidance from the lad about your grooming, wardrobe and decorating your living space. There should be something in this for you, after all!

Baited and Switched

Some poor sap had his source of nookie dry up. Usually this is not a problem, as it signals a person that it is time to move on. Unfortunately, and this is what makes the guy a sap, he was married to her. So he is stuck with the problem and can only use half baked measures to survive the ordeal. He laments:

Ok ladies help me understand.

My wife like to have sex about as often as I need to pay my taxes, ok its not that bad, its about 1x every six to eight weeks.

I love her but WTF, is this about! I blame my self it started realy good we were fucking every day constantly. But then she got a job with a lot of stress, as I did, but she responded to it with a celebate life and I with a hard on. I'm so fucken horny, I've cheated on her but its not that same I want her. I like eating her pussy, I like licking her ass ( although she does not like that freaks her out) I want her to suck my dick, I don't know what thats like anymore. We are in our fourties, and I chase her around the house, when she's in the shower I make sure to give her her towl so that I can look at her. She is better shape than she was when we met at USC.

We haven't had sex and I'm about to fuck someone else soon just to bust a nut, is that bad. Oh and I've told her I need to fuck all she says is I don't work like that. I know she is stressing, but at what point I'm I just being a shmuck.

Thank you.

Here we have another poor soul that fell for our bait and switch methods and got trapped like a fly stuck in flypaper. I jumped in and gave him the straight dope on his situation.

Too bad! You lost the hornyness lottery. One trick we women use is a bait and switch. We pretend to be horny and reel you in with it until you sign the papers to give us access to you bank account and other goodies. Then we are suddenly "too tired" or have a "headache" because quite honestly if we are not into sex then it is really a big chore to give you that kind of happiness. Love has nothing to do with it. So settle in for a lifetime of slapping your spew out or furtive dips into strange holes.

What's going on with my new girlfriend?

 "Vic" wanders on to craigslist, asking what is up with his new girlfriend:

My name's Vic, I started dating this girl, Shawna, she's in her mid thirties. She says she broke up with her boyfriend four years ago. However, she has this male best-friend, Glenn. They have travelled alot (to Europe, Florida) they go together to her parents in Nevada often, and he has bought many things for her- a massage chair, a computer, a monitor, etc. etc. He also helpd her considerablly with the rent. She sometimes stays the weekend at his house. She says they are just friends. Glenn is 50, overweight not her type, but what they have done togeher makes me feel different. What do you think?

I find that my reply is no place to tap dance around the truth:

Vic, "helping her considerably with the rent" is a euphemism. In plain English it means something like "banging her like a kettle drum". The computer alone cost about 3 or 4 rolls in the sack. Doesn't matter if Glen is overweight, it is his overweight bank account that gives him access to her nether regions. With a sugar daddy like that, you can be sure a boyfriend is an optional accessory for her. Vic is a good name for you, it is short for "victim", which you are apparently setting yourself up to be.

Run! Don't look back.

Tail for Toys Exchange Program Member

Drunken Fail - The Aftermath

Along comes one of the craigslist denizens to post this nugget of drama for the readers. It is useful to remember that craigslist is a free for all in which anyone can post anything whether or not it has any connection to reality. They are all just stories. With that in mind, this post appeared one fine day.

I totally fucked up my entire world.
I dont' know what to do or where to go or how to fix it.
I just need some advice.

I got drunk. Really drunk.
It was Saturday night.
I have an alcohol problem I've never admitted...for the past 7 months since I had this life changing surgery.
It's no excuse, but it is what it is.
My husband found me laying naked in bed at my parents house while they were out of town with a guy I barely know laying naked on the ground.
Fortunately, we didn't have sex. We got too drunk and passed out.
But I can tell the intention was there, no matter how much I love my husband.
We've had problems. He ws kind enough to decide that we can work this out. and let me stay at home.
We have 2 young kids together.
I'm an idot.

This only happened a day ago, and I know time is going to help, but every time I look at my husband it breaks my heart...I want to die...I can't believe I hurt this amazing man.
I can tell by the way he looks at me that I've shattered him.

How do I pick up the pieces?
We can't afford a counselor, or we'd already be there.

My response:

You said it very succinctly, darling.

You totally fucked up your entire world.

The first thing is the alcohol. The problem is that it does not cause you to do anything. It unleashes that which you desire to do and are inhibited. So you really wanted to fuck some scuzz bucket on a Saturday night. Mind you, this is not some college age experimentation. You are the mother of two children, and those years should be way behind you, nothing more than a distant memory that brings a sly smile to your face. I use the term "mother" loosely here, as the fact that your body spewed forth two babies is no indication that you are fit to nurture and love them in a manner to which they are entitled, as you clearly fall short of that standard.

Your husband is sticking with you as a form of damage control. It is over with you, but he is salvaging his relationship with his children, and considering the expense and aggravation of you, the baby breeder, as part of the package deal to maintain ties with his children.

Whatever pleasure or orgasm you might have had now has a price. It was all a transaction you entered into when you made that choice and since you were bombed out of your mind you will now pay the price for your fun without even a fleeting sweet memory of what you enjoyed. Even that is too great a reward for the worthless pile of human refuse that you are. At this point, the best thing that can happen to avoid future suffering is that you die so your husband is free to get a worthy wife and his children have a possible hope to have a loving mother.

No sense in being gentle with this one. She has already done enough damage so her demise would make the world a better place.

Valentines Day without the benefits

I am alone again, having not duped some guy into spending time, money or attention on me. It was the same way this time last year. Although I managed to lure one in shortly afterward, I live for the moment and did not think ahead enough to trap a guy into that during Valentines day so I could get the benefits of it. So today the bathtub is gonna be pretty dry. <wink wink> Better luck next year, huh?

What women really want

When it comes to specifics, what women want is as varied as the number of women you ask that question of. A good summary of the answers you would get; women want that which they do not have.

For me, I want a guy who can bend me over a chair arm and take me so hard it hurts, and then on another day pin me down in a tent on a rainy day and steam up the inside with condensation from our heavy breathing. After a while I get to wanting a guy who is willing to spend money on me getting the things that catch my eye. I am likely to not have any desire for him sexually, assuming he is even up to that. Then I tire of him as he starts to bore me, so then I get to wanting Mr. Ramrod who never spends a dime on me.

I go back and forth, as these two are never the same guy.