Saturday, March 5, 2011

What's going on with my new girlfriend?

 "Vic" wanders on to craigslist, asking what is up with his new girlfriend:

My name's Vic, I started dating this girl, Shawna, she's in her mid thirties. She says she broke up with her boyfriend four years ago. However, she has this male best-friend, Glenn. They have travelled alot (to Europe, Florida) they go together to her parents in Nevada often, and he has bought many things for her- a massage chair, a computer, a monitor, etc. etc. He also helpd her considerablly with the rent. She sometimes stays the weekend at his house. She says they are just friends. Glenn is 50, overweight not her type, but what they have done togeher makes me feel different. What do you think?

I find that my reply is no place to tap dance around the truth:

Vic, "helping her considerably with the rent" is a euphemism. In plain English it means something like "banging her like a kettle drum". The computer alone cost about 3 or 4 rolls in the sack. Doesn't matter if Glen is overweight, it is his overweight bank account that gives him access to her nether regions. With a sugar daddy like that, you can be sure a boyfriend is an optional accessory for her. Vic is a good name for you, it is short for "victim", which you are apparently setting yourself up to be.

Run! Don't look back.

Tail for Toys Exchange Program Member

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