Delusional man: Wannabe Stalker

The number of people who walk around in a delusional state astounds me. I do not blame them. I have my own delusions, such as  I will find someone to love me some day, and people really care about my problems, and that any of it really matters. There is something about delusions that I dearly hold onto mine, while quickly spotting them in others, such as this man who thinks an online pen pal is a girlfriend.

So I'm in a long distance relationship and I have yet to meet my girlfriend in person. Her birthday is coming up soon and I would like to visit her. But I want it to be a surprise and she is super smart, so in no way do I want to ask her for her address. Is there someone out there that could help me find her address? I already tried a couple of sites and even paid $20 and searched and then it directed me to another page saying I needed to pay another $60. If you could help that would be awesome, thanks!

What is there to say? I start off by knocking him off his delusional roost. He needs to be very clear on that. Then I point out the real terms for what he is doing, and then go on to the practical advice for obtaining in real life what is currently a fantasy.

What you are in is not a relationship. It is a fantasy. Someone you have never met in person is not your girlfriend on this side of the pretend universe. What you are trying to do is called stalking. You say she is super smart. There is a reason she has not given you her address. Stalking her and showing up uninvited will not please her. Now I am going to help you. Save your $60 and get out to meet someone in your town. Go out to a movie, the races, a music event or something fun, get a bite to eat. If you enjoy each other, lather-rinse-repeat. Then you might have a girlfriend.

Mama's boy

It is wonderful for a boy to love and appreciate his mother. There are certain ways for him to express his affection that are wholesome and appropriate for his age. This lad has clearly wandered off that map. Unfortunately, the mom has lured some adult man into this triangle, likely to fulfill some needs that sonny is not taking care of, yet.

I've been in a long distance relationship with the mother of a 12 year old. I visit quite often. I find it odd that her son wants to cuddle & sleep in the bed with her early in the morning or late at night. Sometimes she allows it, sometimes she doesn't. Is this a red flag? I never thought of jumping in the bed with my mother at the tender age of 12. This doesn't sit well with me. I've discussed this with her but she gets very defensive. I'd appreciate some feedback. Thanks 

Eewww! Definitely not age appropriate. Map this situation on to a father and daughter and you will see it clearly. Fortunately our man sees that something is not quite right and asks about it being a red flag. It is. So I gave him the nudge he was looking for to leave.

One word. RUN! You will never be able to compete with the boy for her affection and attention. No girl he gets involved with, if he ever does, will be able to compete with mommy.

Anger of a single mom

It never fails. Someone makes a really bad parenting choice and the consequences linger on for decades. Come on people, making a baby with someone is not like deciding where to go out to dinner. You get a bad meal and maybe you are sick the next day or two. Breed with the wrong person and you have at least three messed up lives for a very long time. Here is the lament of one breeder who made a bad choice and was mired in the consequences.

ok so i normally dont do this but im pissed how is it so easy for a guy to just act like they dont have a kid i mean dont get me wrong my daughter is my life my everything but sometimes it would just be nice to have a little f-ing help i mean really i do everything i always have he hasnt even bought any diapers ever granted shes to old for them now he has only made the effort to see her 1 time july 3 2006 she was just under 3 months old and says oh your a whore she cant be mine i got a dna test done you stupid fuk yet he still says that shit went on myspace he says he has a daughter but he has moved on to bigger and better things like what the fuk really what an ignorant s.o.b. i want to beat the fuk out of him ugh im so fkin angry i cant even go to the bathroom alone but he goes out and partys and has a good time all the time i work 40 + hours a week i bought my own house i do it all with out him but i cant even have 20 min to myself cuz his stupid ass wont do shit to help me hes such a worthless no good piece of shit i hate him all i want is 20 min to sit out side alone or to go for a drive or anything but i cant he has no clue what i go threw he has not been there for all the times she was sick none of her surgerys not a single god damn thing doesnt even pay his court ordered child support ahhhhhhhhhhhhh 

First thing I wanted to get straight with her was that she was not a victim, that she had created her circumstances. After making that point, I made it clear that she was making everyone around her miserable and that we would prefer that she stop. Right away.

I want to get this straight. Of all the possible men in your environment, you passed up all of them except for this one. Then you had sex with him and allowed him to ejaculate his seed into you without protection so his spawn can grow inside of you. Next, you drive him away with your violent tendencies and anger issues. After all this, you come here to rant about your self inflicted messed up life for what? Sympathy? No, not possible. You just want us all to kill ourselves to get away from living on a planet where someone like you exists!

Until next time.....Ginny

Ersatz Relationship Blues

Funny thing how people think they are in a relationship, just because someone professes love to them. As in most endeavors, actions speak louder that words, and this man was being treated like a tool.

I am alot confused and was wonder what you all think.

A little back ground info: I was up to recently involved in a long distance relationship with a women that lives on the other coast. She is bright,beautiful, loving and caring or at least I thought so. She owns her own home and has two teenage boy's. We have been involved for 3+ years and I had planned to move to be with her to alleviate the stress of the two boy's switching schools and enviorment and she really likes it there and has some family she is close to. I was ready to sell my 3 bedroom home, walk away from a $65,000 a year job and move away from friends, family and loved ones not to mention the only place I have called home my whole life San Diego just to be with her.

Now I had put off the move several times, twice for work related issues. I have worked for the same company for over 20 years and the owner has always been really good to me so when they asked for me to stay a little longer I decided to try and do right by them seeing they had always done right by me. The last delay in moving was to help my 83 year old mother move from the house my father (who has passed away) accually built and into something a bit smaller and I was only asking for 1 or 2 months to make this happen. I do have a brother and sister who are local and can help but I felt the need to stay and help my mother through this time in her life since she has always been there for me.

Now when I aproached this women with my plan to stay and help my mother. Her response was either I was in the truck on the way to her or it was over. I decided to stay and help my mother and now the women won't speak to me and I guess our relationship is over but I really don't know because she won't talk to me. I guess what I am asking is did I really do something all that wrong or is she just being selfish. I have tried to call her, e-mail her and even sent a letter to her asking her to please explain why she chose to take such a harsh stance. I have not seen or heard any response from her and it is going on over a month. I really love this women and believed that we would have been happy together but now I am wondering if she wasn't playing some kind of game with me or if she really did love me as she professed.

Any input from you all would go a long way in helping me make sence of all this. I would appreciate you keep your coments clean and to the point, I don't need stupid response that make no sense as I am confused enough.

Thanks for you input

I pointed out the obvious to this poor sap.

The relationship is over, because you were not willing to put aside your needs or responsibilities to be at her beck and call. You do not have a "relationship" with someone as immature as she. What you have is a barrage of whining and demands that wear you down over the years to the status of a beaten dog. You are better off rid of that one, to make room for someone who respects you.

PSA I Got Herpes Ladies Beware

We have another case of some sad young thing with a tail of woe. Thinking with her coochie, she did the sheet dance with some guy and now is paying a heavy price.

There is a guy in El Cajon Spreading Herpes to women.I know this becouse he game it to me I more mad at my self becouse I chose to have sex with him without Protection.I realy feel bad for his wif and 5 kids I didn't know he had a wife and 5 kids.The more I found out more about him he gave a girl who goes to my school herpes too.I just think this is wrong i ask him if he had or ever had a STD he siad no.So if he is not going to be honest then I going to warn all the women out there so they don't end up like me.His name is Kyson tall lightskin black guy with blue eyes and for at Staxxs on Deck 535 El Cajon Bvld in El Cajon.So if you know him please warn your friends to stay away from this asshole.

There is a principle in investing of due diligence. What that means is you do your homework and cover your bases so you are not throwing investment money down a hole. Due diligence in this context is to size up a partner for who they are, and not just who they say they are. It also means you get those shields up, as in the latex kind.

Thanks for the warning. You are another casualty of the really crappy institutionalization that passes for an educational system in California. Aside from the fact that it left you sorely lacking in spelling and grammar skills, you also have very little grasp of critical thinking. Simple things like evaluation the truthfulness of a guy's story and using those protective techniques they taught you in sixth grade health class are way above your skill level. Too bad. I feel your pain.

Preferring Porn before Poon

This time out we have a woman who is newlywed and has found that getting hitched is not the way to live the dream as it is portrayed in Disney propaganda. So I stepped up and told it like it is.

My husband and I haven't even been married a year, and we barely have sex anymore.. not by my choice believe me. I wish we were having sex at least once a day, but I am lucky if I get it once a week. it seems like he would rather look at porn than have sex with me. But when I say anything about it and how it hurts me, he says that it makes him feel like crap and he doesn't want to have sex with me when I bring up the fact that we don't have as much sex as I would like. He looks at it any moment he gets it seems.. It is soo gross..and such a turn off for me. I asked him to stop because it makes me feel like I am unattractive to him... I get rejected when I try to start sex... I have tried a lot, but nothing seems to work. Now lately, I have noticed that when he looks at porn, he will come to me to "gett off real quick" which seems so selfish. He says if I want to get off that I better hurry... how romantic.

What do I do? If I confront him about it, he gets defensive.. He says that I have put on weight, and that is why he is not so attracted to me. Yet I gained weight from quitting smoking and eating more which he asked me to do! I was too skinny before and now I am too fat!?I am tired of his excuses, but I am not going to go to the "D" word. what do I do?!

The first year of marriage is usually the best one, when it comes to sex. After that, the novelty wears off and it can become routine, and even boring. Many women use sex as a sort of loss leader to snare a man, and once the deal is completed they cut it way back in an evil sort of bait and switch. Many men lose interest in sex if you put on weight or otherwise change your appearance so that you are a lot different that what he found attractive enough to marry. Whether you are too fat or too skinny, this guy likes to live the fantasy and does not want to interact with a real live woman. You have lost him and you will not get him back. If you do not want to do the "D" word, then dig in for a long life of celibacy or furtive sexual affairs. In my view, you should have kept up with the smoking to stay thin. It works for me, along with the diet pills and starving myself.

If you really want to get his interest, look at the women that gets him excited and he rubs them out for. Then get boobs like that, hair dye and whatever else it takes to put some lead in his pencil. Prepare to change your appearance from time to time as his interests change.

A sad sack loser whines his way out of love

This pathetic sad sack showed up on craigslist with his mournful wails about true love gone bad.

Yeah... You read right. The love of my life is gone... Wish i had better news for you. She was my everything. My world. My oasis in this world filled with uncertainty. And if there was one person i could count on, and be certain that i could depend on to be there for me, it was her. I'm so lost without her. I went from thinking i was just fine with out her, to not knowing how i ever did without. Its a shame why a perfect love goes wrong. I wish i knew why. Wish i had answers. But she didn't leave any answers. Just a mystery. As to why she left. A question that haunts me every day. All i really wanted was for her to be happy. Even if it wasn't with me. But she reassured me that she was happiest with me in her life. That she loved me for me, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Promises so untrue. What am i to do? We had plans to be married, just waiting for the right circumstances. But shes gone now. Never said why. All i can do is guess. Well i guess i can say that i enjoyed the ride while it lasted, if only it never had to end. Guess its true what they say all good things come to an end. But why? Why? Oh why is this happening? Can somebody please tell me?

Can you shoot me now, please? I picture this guy as a large baby headed entity, suckling at the poor woman's tit. You see, as much as we women ditch you because we are opportunistic social climbers, there are also times you drive us away by being so damn pathetic. So I pulled the keyboard closer and gave him the news.

Sorry to see that you would consider someone like that to be the "love of your life". If that is your best, I dread to imagine that others, if any, did not measure up to her low standard. First thing, if she was your everything and your world, then you sound like a parasite. What was it that kept you from developing a life of your own? Why would you not man up even a little bit and develop your own friends, livelihood and activities so that she could be a part of it and not the totality? While the exact tipping point is something I can not know, I do know why it ended. She got tired of you feeding off of her. In the quiet of the night she would recoil in horror at the thought of committing to a life of you siphoning away her physical, emotional and psychic energy, and so she bolted when she had an opportunity to bust a move. It is a good thing too. I get weary just from reading your account of "love gone wrong". If she hadn't left, then she would have been in for a long haul in a codependent relationship. Who needs that? Yuck!

Does meth rot your brain?

Many people wonder if past drug use can mess your brain up so bad that it can impair function years after the fact. Certain drugs can, with enough heavy use for a long enough period of time. Meth is the worst in this regard, and even after quitting the stuff a tweaker can be paranoid and irritable even after a couple decades. This poor guy made the mistake of getting married to someone who tweaked so much her banjo strings came undone.

I work all day, come home to my kids, spend all my time at home with them when I can, yet this nutjob thinks I'm in chat rooms or massage parlors or having an affair with a mexican chick or any other brown girl. Maybe it's all the meth she's done that's rotted her brain. Maybe it's the bad daddy she had that use to dirty touch her sister, or maybe it's the inbred and bald ass farm boy she first married that used to cheat on her with any scab that would give him the time of day. I'll tell ya' what though, I ain't your whippin' post bitch and the shit better stop before I leave your ass high and dry.

I gave him the straight dope on his lovely bride. Dope. Get it? Ha ha ha ha... PAY ATTENTION! It is too late for him, but let his life be a cautionry tale for others. And remember, the cops never proved anything about any alleged drug use that I did, so no pics, it didn't happen. I explained to him:

What were you thinking? That is what you get when you hook up with a tweaker with a train wreck of a past and the baggage that comes with it. Too late for you, chump, but you are a shining example for many young men of what to avoid so they do not mess up their lives. Thanks for the warning!

I really hope he can get free of this banshee, but somehow I feel he will not.

A back stabber indeed!

Dan writes in with some confusion about what a "friend" is. Especially when a man has a woman friend, he often does not know the true nature of what he has. Many men are blinded by the unlikely possibility that they will flip the friendship into having sex with the woman. That is delusional thinking. Let's see what Dan has to lament about.

 My longtime (I mean 10 years) friend Sophia broke up with her boyfriend 3years back. I'm Dan, and havehelped Sophia out finacially covering bills at times,- talking to her, giving her advice repeatingly. Sophia would get very sarcastic with me making fun of the way I talk (I do ahve a slight stutter) calling me a fuck-up in my field, being critical of everything I do, and saying "I'm calling you retard becasue you fuck everything up" I threatened to end the friendship, and she became SOMEWHAT normal again. (Sophia said my threat was mean because "Dan, you obvioulsy don't understand I am going thru a hard time. Once I get a new boyfriend, I'll be normal and nice, like before." Well, now Sophia steadily dates a guitar teacher and she is so nice to me- pretty much talks to me in a tone reserved for talking to kittens! praises what i do, my opinions, is really sweet. Should I say, "She went through a bad time give her slack." or take her nice behavior since she's found Mr. Right as an insult? Would like your opinion.

What kind of desperate lonely guy would put up with such abuse? It is pathetic, and pitiable to see Dan get to be Sophia's verbal punching bag, so I pulled a clue out of my toolbox and handed it to the poor guy.

Dan, I do not want to state the obvious, but Sophia is not your friend. She does not even like you. She tolerates you because you help her pay the bills, and you give her some much needed attention. She is pretty easy going when she is getting her sexual needs met, (aren't we all!) but when she is horny and frustrated she takes it out on you, and not in a good way since she does not consider you sexually attractive. Let me ask you, if one of your guy friends was not getting laid and treated you the way she does when she is not getting stuffed with pork, would you still consider yourself to be friends with him? Think about that. Then go meet yourself some real friends that treat you with respect.

Sexual Satisfaction Done Right

A man wonders:

Hypothetical question: If you are a heterosexual female with a long term male sexual partner and for some reason he was no longer able to ever get a sustainable erection capable of normal vaginal penetration would you be completely satisfied with him providing oral sex to climax to you anytime you wanted and stimulating your G-spot with his fingers or your choice of dildos? Do you need to feel an ejaculating penis inside you to be completely satisfied sexually?

This is very easy to answer.

An ejaculating penis inside me is nice, but not essential for my sexual satisfaction. I have toys for that. But you better have a wallet that ejaculates money or your ATM card!!

Players Getting Played Back

A clue is a valuable thing. Some people have them, and some don't. When you go to the club and you are not with someone you intend to go home with, you are playing. Your game might be teasing some poor schlubb and extracting all the drinks and attention his desperation can bear, or maybe you want to get laid. Whatever it is you want, you are in play. Everyone else there is in play too. You are deluding yourself to think you are going to meet the true love you have been looking for at the club. You will most likely meet other players, just like yourself.

So back on the friendly neighborhood craigslist, a clueless player laments.

This guy is a complete asshole. I met him a couple months ago at a club downtown. I don't even know why I was attracted to him, but somehow I ended up at his place getting fucked in the ass, and then the dickhead didn't even call me for two weeks! Then we started seeing each other a bit, I thought it was going great. Should have known better because I just found out he had a threesome with two of my friends! When I confronted him about it he wasn't even apologetic; he just laughed and said I could be in the next threesome. WTF!? 

His name is John, but everyone calls him Fox which only adds to his self-absorption. He thinks he has the right to be self-absorbed because he is a musician and runs his own company (which isn't even all that big), he doesn't care about anyone but himself, he lies and uses people, and somehow he's able to trick people into thinking he's cool, at least until they get to know him. I hate this guy SOO much for the way he played me, and I know he's done it to other girls too. These photos are him with some of the sluts he's hooked up with (or girls he's played, who knows which). I want to see him pay...His number is eight five eight seven o seven five four nine six, let's force him to change it, ladies! 

I did this tart a favor and advanced her a needed clue about the true nature of what she was doing.

Uhhhh....sweetheart! Yoo hoo, is anybody home there. You met him at a club and "somehow" ended up at his place "getting fucked in the ass". NEWS FLASH! You were playing too! Take it from a player who has been played back, we all play to some degree. It is when we get all delusional about what we are really doing that we get burned. Did you really think that some guy you just met and got to plow your back forty was the love of your life? Let me gift wrap you a clue here. He wasn't. You are just seething because he found several better playgrounds than the romper room you have to offer. Too bad. Get over yourself. 

Love, Ginny 

My BF is cheating

It seems every new generation has to learn the hard way what the previous generation learned. They do not listen to their elders and so they repeat the same mistakes, often to find they have made dreadful errors of judgement. This girl would have done well to ask her elders about the pitfalls of moving in with a boyfriend and working for his parents, especially when things go very wrong with the relationship. Here she laments:

So I found my boyfriends account for a hookup site loged in and a list of conversations about talking dirty with guys what hes into sexually what hes looking for. Really graphic I was surprised how he talked it hurt my eyes and my heart. I confronted him about it. He said he only logs on and does that when hes mad at me... So with further investigating I find out hes actually been there for years, first tells me only looked at photos then showed him his account with all the msg's and still says he only talks to them. What to do? Keep in mind I live in his place we and his parents employ me... Boy when I look at it in writing it sure looks like im about to have a fun ride. 

Advice please! 

I told her straight up what to do, though for her this is easy to say and very difficult to implement.

You really have got yourself into a pickle, girlie. Whatever you found is the tip of the iceberg. If he does his thing while being mad at you, you have to wonder what he considers being mad at you, like you left the soap dish in the wrong place so he has to engage in "only talking" with some online strange. Of course, you know you are not that gullible. You are merely one of his options, and that is all you are. This can not be fixed. 

Then there is the complication you created by living with him and earning your living from his folks. Very bad life plan there. There is a reason for the old saying about not fishing off the company pier. As much as there are some hotties in the work place, it is not worth the trouble you set yourself up for. The usual scene is that you get involved with someone and can not make a clean break as you work with them. You have the worst scene since your livelihood is at stake. Sorry about that, sis. Make your plans to get away from this mess, and don't delay. 

 

Long Lost Son is Gay

I never cease to be amazed at the predicaments that people get themselves into. That includes myself. The quest to get laid or high or the big score lead people into some monumental drama. This man finds his wick dipping venture comes back and bites him in the ass after 23 years.

23 years ago I had unprotected sex with a woman I knew. This was not unusual then, but is unheard of now. She got pregnant and refused to get an abortion, although she was single with another child, who I did not know about until later. So I tried to do the right thing and pay support, which I did for 9 months prior to the baby being born, and in the last 2 weeks of pregnancy she vanished. Up until that point we had nothing on paper or in court because everything was very civilized. She was a little off kilter from the time I first met her but we had fun. 

I tried to track her down and could not find her for a year. Then when I tried to have a paternity test taken she vanished again and her sister told me it was not my child, it was the child of her other son's father, who I found out about then. So I gave up the chase and didn't pursue it any further, altogether it cost about $80,000. She was very crafty and devious. 

Now 20 years later he shows up, says he is gay and wants me to walk him up the aisle in his wedding. This happened on wednesday and I'm still in shock. The woman died last year and told him I was his father in her dying confessional. He has been looking for me on and off since then, although I have not gone anywhere for the last 25 years. I guess the mother was holding back info from him. She was bipolar he said, had dementia and died of some early onslaught alzheimer's, so he has been through hell and high water in his life. 

So I guess I'm going to be in a wedding in a month.

What is to be done? The first thing is to separate reality from story telling. Then if he owns this situation, it is time to man up and make some beneficial moves. As I explained it to him:

Run, don't walk, to get your DNA test. You CAN NOT base your life on the mutterings of a psycho woman. Myself included. If he turns out to be your son, give him the talk about how he is still too young to be getting married, but that you would be glad to walk him down the aisle in about 4 years if he has his education and career goals in good order.

Then start getting some guidance from the lad about your grooming, wardrobe and decorating your living space. There should be something in this for you, after all!

Baited and Switched

Some poor sap had his source of nookie dry up. Usually this is not a problem, as it signals a person that it is time to move on. Unfortunately, and this is what makes the guy a sap, he was married to her. So he is stuck with the problem and can only use half baked measures to survive the ordeal. He laments:

Ok ladies help me understand.

My wife like to have sex about as often as I need to pay my taxes, ok its not that bad, its about 1x every six to eight weeks.

I love her but WTF, is this about! I blame my self it started realy good we were fucking every day constantly. But then she got a job with a lot of stress, as I did, but she responded to it with a celebate life and I with a hard on. I'm so fucken horny, I've cheated on her but its not that same I want her. I like eating her pussy, I like licking her ass ( although she does not like that freaks her out) I want her to suck my dick, I don't know what thats like anymore. We are in our fourties, and I chase her around the house, when she's in the shower I make sure to give her her towl so that I can look at her. She is better shape than she was when we met at USC.

We haven't had sex and I'm about to fuck someone else soon just to bust a nut, is that bad. Oh and I've told her I need to fuck all she says is I don't work like that. I know she is stressing, but at what point I'm I just being a shmuck.

Thank you.

Here we have another poor soul that fell for our bait and switch methods and got trapped like a fly stuck in flypaper. I jumped in and gave him the straight dope on his situation.

Too bad! You lost the hornyness lottery. One trick we women use is a bait and switch. We pretend to be horny and reel you in with it until you sign the papers to give us access to you bank account and other goodies. Then we are suddenly "too tired" or have a "headache" because quite honestly if we are not into sex then it is really a big chore to give you that kind of happiness. Love has nothing to do with it. So settle in for a lifetime of slapping your spew out or furtive dips into strange holes.

What's going on with my new girlfriend?

 "Vic" wanders on to craigslist, asking what is up with his new girlfriend:

My name's Vic, I started dating this girl, Shawna, she's in her mid thirties. She says she broke up with her boyfriend four years ago. However, she has this male best-friend, Glenn. They have travelled alot (to Europe, Florida) they go together to her parents in Nevada often, and he has bought many things for her- a massage chair, a computer, a monitor, etc. etc. He also helpd her considerablly with the rent. She sometimes stays the weekend at his house. She says they are just friends. Glenn is 50, overweight not her type, but what they have done togeher makes me feel different. What do you think?

I find that my reply is no place to tap dance around the truth:

Vic, "helping her considerably with the rent" is a euphemism. In plain English it means something like "banging her like a kettle drum". The computer alone cost about 3 or 4 rolls in the sack. Doesn't matter if Glen is overweight, it is his overweight bank account that gives him access to her nether regions. With a sugar daddy like that, you can be sure a boyfriend is an optional accessory for her. Vic is a good name for you, it is short for "victim", which you are apparently setting yourself up to be.

Run! Don't look back.

Tail for Toys Exchange Program Member

Drunken Fail - The Aftermath

Along comes one of the craigslist denizens to post this nugget of drama for the readers. It is useful to remember that craigslist is a free for all in which anyone can post anything whether or not it has any connection to reality. They are all just stories. With that in mind, this post appeared one fine day.

I totally fucked up my entire world.
I dont' know what to do or where to go or how to fix it.
I just need some advice.

I got drunk. Really drunk.
It was Saturday night.
I have an alcohol problem I've never admitted...for the past 7 months since I had this life changing surgery.
It's no excuse, but it is what it is.
My husband found me laying naked in bed at my parents house while they were out of town with a guy I barely know laying naked on the ground.
Fortunately, we didn't have sex. We got too drunk and passed out.
But I can tell the intention was there, no matter how much I love my husband.
We've had problems. He ws kind enough to decide that we can work this out. and let me stay at home.
We have 2 young kids together.
I'm an idot.

This only happened a day ago, and I know time is going to help, but every time I look at my husband it breaks my heart...I want to die...I can't believe I hurt this amazing man.
I can tell by the way he looks at me that I've shattered him.

How do I pick up the pieces?
We can't afford a counselor, or we'd already be there.

My response:

You said it very succinctly, darling.

You totally fucked up your entire world.

The first thing is the alcohol. The problem is that it does not cause you to do anything. It unleashes that which you desire to do and are inhibited. So you really wanted to fuck some scuzz bucket on a Saturday night. Mind you, this is not some college age experimentation. You are the mother of two children, and those years should be way behind you, nothing more than a distant memory that brings a sly smile to your face. I use the term "mother" loosely here, as the fact that your body spewed forth two babies is no indication that you are fit to nurture and love them in a manner to which they are entitled, as you clearly fall short of that standard.

Your husband is sticking with you as a form of damage control. It is over with you, but he is salvaging his relationship with his children, and considering the expense and aggravation of you, the baby breeder, as part of the package deal to maintain ties with his children.

Whatever pleasure or orgasm you might have had now has a price. It was all a transaction you entered into when you made that choice and since you were bombed out of your mind you will now pay the price for your fun without even a fleeting sweet memory of what you enjoyed. Even that is too great a reward for the worthless pile of human refuse that you are. At this point, the best thing that can happen to avoid future suffering is that you die so your husband is free to get a worthy wife and his children have a possible hope to have a loving mother.

No sense in being gentle with this one. She has already done enough damage so her demise would make the world a better place.

Valentines Day without the benefits

I am alone again, having not duped some guy into spending time, money or attention on me. It was the same way this time last year. Although I managed to lure one in shortly afterward, I live for the moment and did not think ahead enough to trap a guy into that during Valentines day so I could get the benefits of it. So today the bathtub is gonna be pretty dry. <wink wink> Better luck next year, huh?

What women really want

When it comes to specifics, what women want is as varied as the number of women you ask that question of. A good summary of the answers you would get; women want that which they do not have.

For me, I want a guy who can bend me over a chair arm and take me so hard it hurts, and then on another day pin me down in a tent on a rainy day and steam up the inside with condensation from our heavy breathing. After a while I get to wanting a guy who is willing to spend money on me getting the things that catch my eye. I am likely to not have any desire for him sexually, assuming he is even up to that. Then I tire of him as he starts to bore me, so then I get to wanting Mr. Ramrod who never spends a dime on me.

I go back and forth, as these two are never the same guy.

Nuke the east county?

It all started with a post on the San Diego craigslist.

tactical strike (west of 163)

So what im proposing is a tactical nuclear strike to erase all the white trash tweekers in east county. Maybe a 300 kiloton yield would do the job but I dunno. The whole lifted F150 thing is kinda played out also. Lets just start with a clean slate. With SD's easterly ocean breeze all the fallout will drift to Arizona. 

So I chimed in with this reply:

Hey! I resent that!

The tweeker comment is just a stereotype, and the cops never actually got a conviction pinned on me for any alleged meth use. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. Also, some nice dear people live in Arizona, along with the genetic failures, and it is unfair to wipe the innocent out with the guilty. Finally, where are you going to get the wonderful Julian apple pie if you turn it into a slag heap? How about that, nuke boy?